I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
