think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
