No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
