I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
