She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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