Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
PANTIES FOUND
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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