i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
