Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
