I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
