yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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