Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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