anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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