she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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