I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
