Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
