butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
