if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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