i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
