Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
