there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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