What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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