did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
