those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
