Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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