but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
