You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it glows. i had to have it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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