it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize