Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
