i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
