He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
