I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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