She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
