it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
