this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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