He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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