Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
