wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
