i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
