I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
