Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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