R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
