I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
