Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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