My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Randomize
