Kareoke will never be a sober sport
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
