speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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