So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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