Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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