I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
