And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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