His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
