I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How external is "for external use only"?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
