You're so nebulous sometimes
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
