I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
