she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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