i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
