I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
