I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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