he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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