Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
