I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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