well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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