Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
