Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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