Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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