Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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