She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
