So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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