My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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