the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
